Without Him
by NaluKnight
Summary: Lucy never realized how painful it was to let him go, not until it was too late. oneshot, now a twoshot, Rave Master ending- nalu version. Also for toxineena's birthday.
1. Chapter 1

**This is basically the Rave Master ending, with a bit of pre-story, except with a nalu twist to it.**

 **I own nothing.**

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Without Him

I did not really anticipate many of the things that had happened to me. Some were bad, some were good, and some, really did not matter. I did not expect to be able to escape from the tyranny of my father, only for that same father to later turn over a new leaf. I did not expect to join the guild of my dreams in such a wacky fashion, and I certainly did _not_ foresee the pink-haired demon that had brought me there without a second glance, trusting me only after just meeting me.

I had been much surprised when he had so casually offered to take me to Fairy Tail, with a big grin on his face, "COME ON!" he had yelled in glee while dragging my wrist with his. Sure, I thought that he and his quirky cat were a bit _weird_ when I first met them. Natsu was basically bipolar, acting callow one second, but then twice his years in another; it all depended on the situation. I initially was a bit miffed at his sometimes sudden mood changes, like my first day at the guild when he was looking for a job.

My new friend had casually replied to a guild-member's question on where he was headed, "I need to find a job, 'cuz I got no money", I was laughing on the inside because he had said that so _crassly,_ it was inexplicable why I was laughing, something about him was just _different_. But, when little Romeo had come up to the master and pleaded, begged for whereabouts of his father, Natsu's whole demeanor had changed. The serious look in his eyes was different than I seen them so far, usually being filled with laid-back happiness. Needless to say, I followed him that day, not one of my more _intelligent_ ideas, seeing as how I was kidnapped by an ape, but it turned out well in the end. It was worth it to see that more _mature_ version of him, all playfulness gone as one of his friend's life hung in the balance. I didn't show it, but I came away impressed from that, and gained a little more respect for Natsu after that day. Of course most of that was eroded from his constant antics, but I definitely knew what he was capable of when serious.

Asking me to be a part of his and Happy's team had caught me by surprise. The idiot just blurted it out, right after breaking into my band-new apartment for the first of what was to be many times. While I was busy hyperventilating, he just smiled as he looked like he got an idea. He asked me to be his partner. His simple reason of "Because you're a nice person" sounded so vague, so _banal,_ but it had nevertheless managed to move me to action. Me and Natsu started to go on jobs, though the first one ever, the one at the Duke of Everlue's mansion, was one I would always remember. Natsu had done something then that had shocked me. He had refused payment for the completion of the job. Sure, the clients hadn't actually been rich, but I was sure they would have paid _something._ Instead he had cheerfully smiled and said that since we had not destroyed the book, it did not technically merit a job completion. I had stood there in utter shock, but decided not to question it. That sweet and thoughtful side of him was only truly ever seen by me; he was too busy brawling at the guild or anytime he was with other people. In fact the only person it seemed he wasn't in a fighting relationship was _me_ back then. I also met his other so called "frenemies" Gray and Erza. The two had their many little idiosyncrasies, but they were both very good people at heart. Our first unofficial mission together with those two allowed me witness their power, and us four developed a lasting bond after that job.

While my first mission with "Team Natsu", as we were later dubbed, was a rousing success, it came with some doubts; I had to witness first hand the devastating power of the "strongest team in Fairy Tail". Their impressive and awesome display of power had left me feeling a bit overwhelmed however. Actually, after that mission, when I was relaxing in my tub, the idiot came barging in, demanding a pair of sunglasses. After kicking him in the face I hesitantly asked him if he wanted me to leave his new team, seeing as I wasn't on par with the rest of the members (Gray and Erza). He had given me a look that said "Are you retarded?", which was incredibly insulting coming from him by the way, and just called me a weirdo. Before I could kick him again, he went on to explain that he had chosen _me_ as his first ever partner, and he wouldn't just throw all that away without a second thought. He told me that I was very useful in the whole Lullaby mess and that I was the only one he could actually stand to be around all the time between me, Gray, and Erza. His words had had me blushing, but I quickly subdued it and went on my merry way.

Thus, we started to inconsistently do jobs with those two, one of the first being to save the demons at Galuna island. Being an S-class mission, it was dangerous, but we ended up being able to defeat Gray's brother, Lyon, in the end. Me and Natsu were allowed no rest though, as the brief but bloody war with Phantom Lord occurred almost immediately after. I was captured and locked away in a tower like some princess awaiting rescue, which I absolutely loathed. When I learned that my dreaded _father_ had been behind all this, I cracked, deciding that death was better than a life of oppression. I jumped, reveling in my ephemeral time at Fairy Tail. For some reason, I had screamed "NATSUUU!" at the top of my lungs, it just felt natural at the time. There he had come, catching me just in time. My breasts had been in his face and we were in a compromising situation, but I really couldn't have cared less in that moment; he had actually come for me. When the whole of Fairy Tail had been occupied with a bloody guild war, he had put my safety as his number one priority. I still didn't know why then, but it had warmed my heart.

Having to see him being brutally beaten by Gajeel later that day was heart wrenching, but luckily Sagittarius was able to help out. Natsu had been almost frightening during that battle, very devilish. In the end Gajeel had simply been overpowered by Natsu's pure fighting energy. While recovering from the battle at the guild infirmary, Natsu had escaped to my apartment and slept the night in my bed, without me knowing of course. He was gone before I woke up, but I later figured it out as I was feeling a little warmer for the rest of that day. I was still a little touched that he had caught me when I jumped, but that didn't last as he burned my favorite dress a week later. Still, I started to enjoy every job we went on together, no matter how dangerous, loving the feel of adventuring with him.

Our next adventure was short yet painful. Discovering Erza's horrid past had been bad enough, but I was also really worried that neither Natsu nor her would make it while they were fighting a furiously driven Jellal. I had had my hands tied dealing with a possessed Juvia and did not get to see Natsu fight Jellal. Erza later told me what he did, going into Dragon Force for the first time to beat the dark mage.

The only problem was, Natsu was now too sick after eating Aetherion, and of course his get-well bed happened to be mine. I didn't bother me too much that time, as he had been hurt pretty bad in that battle. I actually was very worried, because he seemed very dazed and loopy. Because of his health, he had been too sick to enjoy the start of the Fantasia festival. Not that it was very convivial anyway. Being turned into stone was _not_ a good feeling, especially when I didn't know it was coming.

In the end, Laxus's attempted coup of Fairy Tail failed; I was told that deep down he had really cared for the guild, and thus was unable to defeat Natsu and Gajeel, even though at that time he was stronger than the both of them. I heard myself sighing in the aftermath of that battle, as Natsu was badly hurt _again._ Around that time I had been complaining about my problems with paying rent since Natsu was too sick to go on jobs, but really I was worried about his health too. The fight with Laxus had been a tough one on him, he had had it worse off than Gajeel, his body being wrapped in a cast. I actually offered him the chance to sleep in my apartment that night, to which he gleefully responded by shaking his head, still gagged.

I tended to him that night, cleaning up his bruises, telling him how he had to take better care of himself, not noticing then how attached I had already become to him. He had been giving my lecture a bored look, but stopped when I mentioned something about my turning into stone. "About that, I'm really sorry I didn't protect you that time, I don't know what I would've done if you had died." he had said after removing his gag, his dark eyes shining with regret. They looked almost _remorseful_ , something I had never seen in them before. His words then did not effect me as much they would in later years, as there was too much going on at that point for me to sort out my convoluted brain. I assured him that I was fine and that it would take more than stone to kill me. He had simply nodded after that and dozed off. I would have gone to sleep on the couch, but my hand was stuck under his body and I couldn't pry it away. I had had to spend the night sleeping next to him, and woke up to find him snuggling tightly to my side, surprised to find that he was a cuddler.

I again saw a never-before-seen look in his eyes closely after that, during the incident with the Oracion Seis Dark Guild. When I had saved him at the waterfall, he had thanked me with the most sincere smile I had ever seen on a face. It was not forced, it was not out of formality, it was not shy, and it was not fake; it was real and truly thankful, and at that time my cheeks had heated up, but I really couldn't fathom why. My feelings were still in a state of disarray, and I had simply blushed and tried to play it off as trivial. My heart had been racing and it made me nervous, thankfully we were attacked yet again so I didn't have to linger on those confusing thoughts.

Besides giving me a headache, the event gave us an adorable new member for our guild, Wendy. It was too bad that her initial start at Fairy Tail was so rudely interrupted by that deranged king of Edolas, Faust. Getting transported to an alternate dimension was _not_ fun at all, and neither was discovering that in a parallel universe I was a sadist and Natsu was an out of character crybaby, the only thing the two boys seemed to have in common was that both had multiple personalities. Nevetheless, we as a guild were able to dethrone the tyrannical monarchy of Edolas, restoring peace to the kingdom as Mystogan, or should I say Edo-Jellal, became the new king, and one that wasn't bloody crazy to boot.

Speaking of crazy people, that was exactly what I thought Natsu was when he picked _Happy_ to be his partner for the S-class trials. Though I was confused as to why he didn't pick someone with a little more firepower, I was also a little disappointed that he hadn't picked me. For all I knew, the idiot probably wasn't even thinking when he made the decision. I knew that Natsu was my partner, and I really wanted to help him become S-class. For some reason my heart wrenched when he chose Happy, but I was too busy consoling a despondent Cana to pay much attention.

Luckily for me, I had still gotten to participate in the trials via being Cana's partner. Everything had been going great until Grimoire Heart had shown up. From there things went to hell. After getting brutally beaten and battered we finally managed to figure out the source behind Master Hades' immense magical power. Once we had disabled his "heart" Natsu was able to use his newfound lightning powers to defeat the occult mage once and for all. I had had to hold him after the fight, as he was too exhausted to even stand. I had pressed my hand to his chest that time, in a silent thank you. I was thinking about something Lisanna had told me that day while I did it. She had grabbed my hand during the war with Grimoire and told me to stay close to Natsu, saying the care he had for me made him stronger. I was a little shocked that it was _her_ of all people who had told me that.

Honestly I had expected things to turn out differently than they had when she miraculously _returned_ from the dead. I assumed now that since Natsu's close friend had come back, he would spend less time with me. The thought had made me sad for some reason, but I couldn't figure out why. I had lots of friends besides him at the guild, but I realized that he was probably my closest one. Not Levy, not Erza, not Mira, not Cana; no, it was definitely him. Of course, I soon realized that maybe I was also that to him, besides Happy of course, as Natsu still tried to spend every waking hour with me. Though he could get annoying, I always felt at peace when I was with him, my irritation at his antics the necessary chaos that must always exist in a state of balance; it was just a fact of life. I could act however I wanted when I was with him, he would never judge me, and it was the same with him to me, I would _never_ ridicule him. Get angry, yes, but never judge.

Of course, pondering on all that, I was a little surprised when my life did not really change after Lisanna came back. Natsu partied like crazy the night she came back, but after that things returned to normal. We would still spend most of our time with each other, Lisanna seemingly more than content to spend every waking second with her siblings, trying to make up for lost time. Actually the two barely talked to each other at all. This warmed me inside, but I did feel a little bad about it. I had asked Natsu why he didn't spend much time with his childhood friend anymore. He had told me that while they had been friends, he had spent the last two years without her, and he just wasn't used to her now; it was like when a child grew out of their favorite toy, they just could not go back to it once they broke the cycle once and for all. He had said that he much preferred to hang around me, because my bed was just _so_ soft he had added as a joke. While I had kicked him in the stomach for that comment, I was really happy on the inside, still not knowing why but loving the feeling I got whenever I was around him, as if I was yin and he was yang; together it was almost like we were those last two pieces in the puzzle, fitting perfectly into the molds of both of our lives.

The happy feeling did not last when the black dragon had come and seemingly killed us all on Tenrou. The one thing I remembered before seeing nothing was Natsu clasping my hand telling me it was going to be alright. He was donning his serious personality then, one he was rarely in outside of battle. When we all awoke, the shock of going through 7 years unchanged was too much, but it was nothing versus the events that followed. Fairy Tail needed to get its reputation back after wallowing in the dumps for seven straight years, and there was only one way to do it. We needed to announce our return to the whole country, and we needed a way to get everyone's attention.

Fairy Tail having entered into the Grand Magic Games, fielded two teams into the tournament. Though I enjoyed the competitive ambience, all throughout I had a sense of dark foreboding, which of course culminated in a near Draconic apocalypse. Luckily Natsu was able to defeat the evil Rogue from the future. Of course, the idiot had grabbed hold of my breasts before he did defeat him, to apparently "not see them". Where he gets his logic I don't know, but I had been really embarrassed. He had seemed unfazed though and went on to pummel Future Rogue.

But throughout the whole ordeal, I saw something near the end that I saw I would never see; Natsu crying. He was doing so after seeing the future version of me getting killed, pierced through the chest. He had called her, or me too I guess, something precious to him and looked devastated when the future me had died. I was certainly shocked, not realizing that beneath all the teasing and the joking and the annoying that Natsu really cared a lot about me, much more than I had initially thought. I could only return the favor by showing him the affection he deserved when I hugged him after he won his final battle. There was nothing romantic about it, or so I thought at the time; it was just supposed to a simple hug. A non-platonic way of showing him how grateful I was to him, but he had just looked down at me with a soft smile, one that melted the bastion of my heart to its very core, opening up a whole new section that I did not even know a human was capable of _having_. That moment under the moonlight had felt, for lack of a better term, apodictic, just so _right_ , I had never felt more placidity than I did then. I realized at that moment that I may have been in love with my partner. Sure, he was crazy half the time, childish at some other moments, and a downright stupid at others. But, through all that, I realized that all those things are what _made_ me fall in love with him. He wasn't childish because he _was_ a child, he just felt like it sometimes. I had seen enough to know that he was definitely not a boy trapped in a man's body. He was crazy when he _wanted_ to be, not because he was. He was brash and headstrong, but only when the situation was harmless. He was never like that when the situation required it. He may have teased me a lot, but, when I needed him, he was the most gentlest of all, guiding me through pain and joy for a long time. The only downside to my epiphany was when I realized that he probably reserved no feelings like that for _anyone_ , it was like he wasn't human. It hurt that he might never reciprocate my feelings.

The despair unfortunately did not end there, as Tartarus attacked us, having this crazy plan to get rid of all magic on the continent by activating a special magical device called Face. They were desperate to revive their master, END, so they could kill Zeref; it was all way over the top if you ask me. Though we did finally beat the last of the Balm Alliance, we all received wounds. Natsu lost his father right before his eyes and I lost my key to Aquarius. I had wanted to comfort him, as I saw him crying for only the second time, but I was too weak at that moment. The look of hurt on his face broke my heart, when I realized with some pain that maybe Igneel was the only one that Natsu really _loved_ , no one else but him and that the feeling of devastation in him might have been slowly adulterating him. I vowed then and there to make sure he never cried again.

His next course of action rocked my world.

After reading his farewell letter, I had raced desperately after him and Happy, hoping to catch up with them, becoming aware of what a big part of my life they really were. Sadly, I was unable to do so and spent the whole year in partial depression, picking up details here and there about the others at the guild, as it had been abandoned for unknown reasons. I still did not fully admit to myself that I had fallen in love with him, not then, when the pain was too much; it was suffocating.

My heart had leaped out of my throat when Natsu returned, and I knew why, but I quickly pushed those thoughts into the back of my mind. I stayed a bit guarded around him for a bit, and he noticed right away, no one understands me better than him after all. I told him that the year had been hard on me and that what he had done _hurt._ He had looked sincerely apologetic, his eyes shone with a brightness that I had not seen for a long time. He told me that he never planned to stay away forever and that it was impossible for him to leave me anyway. He had taken my hand and whistled a bucolic tune through my fingers, calming me. Even though he had immediately grabbed my wrist after that to take me to lunch, I still felt touched. I did forgive him, part of my reason was that he was quite stupid sometimes, and he obviously did not factor in how everybody would feel about him leaving. That was no time to be introspective however. We had to gather the guild back first, and then deal with the butterflies in our stomachs. After dealing with a dark cult called Avatar, we were able to reunite with most of the members of the guild, and we got straight to work on it. Erza was made the new master, but she was told earth-shattering news by Mest, who had recently re-joined Fairy Tail, back from his mission. The master was in trouble and we decided to head to the Arbaless Empire to save him. It was just supposed to be an infiltration mission, never did I think it would end in bloodshed.

Eventually it all went to Pandemonium as it escalated into a full-blown war between Ishgar and Arbaless. Guilds from both continents clashed violently, trying to vie for the Lumen Histoire, yet barely any knew what they were actually fighting for, they were simple swept up in the flood of emotion that one feels when representing their land. Much death occurred as Fairy Tail faced off against the Spriggan 12 Shield. Elfman died while trying to protect Evergreen from a kill shot. Mest was knocked a hundred miles onto the sea, no one knowing whether he survived or not. Macau had died in the hands of a sobbing Romeo, cut up by blades. Laxus had been crippled for life, against a deperate member of the shield. His legs had been contorted in a way that had been painful to just _look_ at. Even Gildartz was felled, distracted by a purposeful attack aimed at Cana, his chest was exploded and I could actually see inside of it, his heart hanging by a single sinew, about to give up pumping forever. That had eraged both Natsu and Cana. Fortunately Natsu was able to defeat the strongest of the Spriggan 12, God Serena, by discovering his innate ability to transform into a dragon. I had been about to die and he had swooped and saved me, as I was too exhausted from fighting and defeating another shield member myself. I had watched his fight with Serena from Natsu's scaly back, transfixed by the pure destruction the fight caused, a nearby mountain range being levelled.

Natsu finally defeated God Serena when he shot out of his mouth, not normal fire, but hellfire. I thought that that was extremely odd, seeing as that was something only demons could use. He had carried me down and let my cry on his shoulder as I noticed many more of our guildmates dead on the floor. I could see Wakaba off to the right and Jet about 50 feet behind me. The only thing left of poor Pantherlily was his head, his body having been blasted apart. In front of me lay Gray and Juvia, their last breaths having already been breathed, next to each other. They had been holding hands when they died, ironic that in the face of demise their love finally occurred. Natsu gently tilted my head up and looked he wanted to say something.

Before he could, Fairy Tail was immediately confronted by Zeref, who said that the time had come for destiny to play its cards. He opened his book of END and uttered what sounded like an ancient incantation, the magic that swirled around him then shot at Natsu. What was left of us gasped as Natsu transformed once more, horns growing out of his skull and a tail out of his tailbone. Leathery wings sprouted out of his back and his canines became a little longer. His pupils were now blood-red. The battle between him and Zeref that ensued was one of epic proportions, one that attracted even Acnologia, who was intent to finish what he started 8 years ago. Zeref and Natsu actually worked together to beat the black dragon. Natsu was then informed the story of his creation and in turn refused to kill his own brother, angering Zeref greatly.

All Zeref wanted was to die. He claimed that there had always been another way for him to kill himself, but he had dared not to do it at least until END had awoken. However, when Natsu refused to kill his own brother (I know right!), Zeref stated he had no choice but to end it once and for all.

He started muttering a chant as death magic swirled above his head, condensing into a huge orb of energy that looked bigger than the moon. He said that this would not only kill him but everyone in the western continent as well. After releasing the detonation, he died instantly, a smile on his face as he finally got his 400 year old wish. Natsu had a look of conflict written on his face. He gave me a look and I couldn't help but sob, knowing what he was thinking; he was going to absorb the blast. He told me that he had to do it, and that he was the _only_ one who could do it now. He smiled at me, not a drop of fear on his face.

The dark light of the blast orb was now coming closer, about to envelop and destroy thousands of miles of land around it. He stepped into it, back into his human form, the one I loved most. "Lucy" he said with a bright grin; how could he even be smiling right now I wondered through tear, "I want you to know something before I go, something important. Before I met you I always figured I would die while fighting or on the battlefield, like it was my destiny or something you know, in fact I sort of wanted it. If I couldn't find Igneel, what was the point of living a peaceful and safe life anyway? And then, I met you, the weird, blonde girl I saw in Hargeon. There was something off about you, something different, you made me feel comfort just by being _next_ to me. Through time, I began to understand these feelings better, and, I realized that was attached to you in a way that I had never been to anyone before, even Igneel. It made me want to _live_ for once, to go on forever bathed in the glow of your aura; made me feel _scared_ to die for the first time, because if I did, I wouldn't get to see you ever again. I've been keeping these feelings locked up for a while now, but I can't leave without telling you. I may be a demon that's supposed to be incapable of emotion, but you were able to awaken something in me which I had never felt before...true love. I know I'm not a romantic and that I'm not very good with stuff like this in general, but Mira once explained love to me in simple terms. She said it was when you felt truly comfortable around a person, knowing that you can trust your life with them and vice versa, someone who makes you happy just by being themselves, someone who cries with you and laughs with you, and that person is _you_ to me Lucy. I can proudly say that I love you with all my heart and that it has been an adventure falling in love with you, one that I hoped would never end, because it's always more fun when we're together. I don't want you to be sad because of this, I want you to live life to the fullest for me ok? Even if you never loved me, know that there was someone out there who loved you more than anything else in this world, someone who could stare at your face and never get bored of it, someone who never thought he would fall in love." he finished with a sad smile. Before I could mutter a word, he wordlessly stripped off his scarf and wrapped it around my neck, his usual gentleness bathing me with comfort, as he did this he leaned down next to my face and whispered in my ear, "There are some things that deserve to dwell." This action caused me to raise my hands to touch it in shock, as if it was ethereal and intangible.

I was still speechless; he loved me? All my memories with him came up, every single one of them, and I realized that there was no one more precious or important to me in the world than him. I shouted to him as the light began to envelop his body, "NATSU I LOVE YOU TOO... so, so much. I'm sorry it took me so long to say it. We could have had time with each other, but it's impossible now." I was bawling again, reaching out for his hand, but I already couldn't touch it; it was intangible. He was already half dead I realized with a sob, already gone from this world, from me. The rest of Fairy Tail had been watching the whole scene behind us, tears in every one of their eyes, not knowing what to say. He simply closed his eyes, tears streaming down his grinning face, already accepting his cruel fate.

The orb picked up power and shot down into the love of my life, destroying his body right before my eyes. With a flash Natsu fully absorbed the blast, and he was gone... forever.

It's been a year since then. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of his smiling face, wondering what I ever did to deserve this. I cried at least three times a day when I saw things that reminded me of him, most notably the color pink. I found myself sniffling anytime I glanced at my guild-mark. In addition, I had never parted with his final gist to me, keeping it wrapped around my neck constantly. I feel... nothing, absolutely nothing, as if I'm in some sort of perpetual abyss of darkness, void of everything but my sorrowful memories of my beloved. Fate was so cruel, we had just confessed to each other, after all we had been through, each time surviving by the last straw. The one time where we both finally woke up to our blindness, was the time that he was finally taken away from me. Luck doesn't last forever after all. I had nightmares almost every night about his death, the way he had disappeared right before my eyes in such a painstaking way, torturing me. I was deeply depressed, and quit the guild for the time being, too sad knowing that _he_ would never walk the hall again. Fairy Tail itself was not the same after that battle, it was as if there was a permanent raincloud over the whole building, the death toll weighing the place down like an anchor. With Acnologia and Zeref gone, the number of jobs became lower, allowing many others to retire form the guild as well, all going through survivor's guilt. I knew what I had to do to end this misery once and for all.

I decided to visit his grave, it's actually at the battlefield where he was taken from me in Arbaless. I paid a ferry to sail me over and made my way to where he was buried. It said Etherious Natsu Dragneel on it, with a description that said "Savior of our world and our future" on it. What was the point of all that honor if he couldn't even enjoy it I wondered? Tears welled up in my eyes as I dropped to my knees in front of his grave, crying my eyes out. I thought that with time, I would be able to get over the grief, I knew for sure I would never love again, but I thought I would at least feel some pacification, but we must have really been soul-mates, because I could never get him out of my head for more than a few hours. Rain had started on my journey over to the west continent and it still hadn't let up, as if mocking my despondence, while also annoying me as it wet my beloved token.

I took out a vial that had a skull and crossbones on it. It was tonic of death; I had bought it right after Natsu died. I had been delirious, wishing desperately to join him in the after-life. I redacted my thinking when I realized that he would not want me to ever give up, and so I had held out. His last wish keeping me going like a medicine.

But no more, visiting his grave just hardened my resolve even more. I popped open the cork and slowly lifted it up to my mouth. In my crying, I had not noticed that the raining had stopped. The heavens had opened up a shining arch of light, bathing the grave in a heavenly aura. My hand was about to dip the contents of the vial in, so I could finally go and be with my other half. Here it was... the moment of truth... I was about to join my lover and my greatest friend.

I tipped it up, while pinching my nose, not noticing the dying rain. 3, 2, 1, I dipped it... but something happened.

A tanned hand grabbed it and drew it down. I started with a jolt and looked up into a face shining brighter than ever, his hair damp from the rain. His shirt was almost ripped into nonexistence and he was bleeding all over, fresh wounds from a battle fought over a year ago. He had mild surprise on his countenance as he stared at the symbol of the bottle in my hand. He willed it to fall to the ground by prying open my fist around it, shattering the vial into pieces, its contents spilling everywhere.

Then he said one sentence that saved me from that insurmountable fall, and he was smiling brighter than ever, "Yo... you didn't _actually_ think I'd leave you a second time did you? After all.. you're wearing my scarf." he said softly, smirking as my hand flew to my open mouth in shock as tears started yet again in my eyes, my other hand was being whistled a tune to its fingers as he held it to _his_ mouth. And, I knew right then and there that there was no price on love. As I fainted from the sheer shock of it all, I realized that love was a curse as much as a blessing and that I was just a broken shell without him.

 _"The course of true love never did run smooth"-_ William Shakepseare

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 **I just wrote this because I thought it was weird this hadn't been done yet, you know, a nalu version of the Rave ending. To anyone reading Ancient Outlook, I have already started on the chapter, it should be out in the next couple of days. Also be sure to check out my new story whenever I decide to post it. Also I recently wrote another story that I already published, feel free to view it as well, it's not very long. Thanks for viewing in advance!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Right, well some guest reviewers I think wanted another chapter to "tie it off", so I decided to turn this into a twoshot, enjoy. Also check out my other story, Ancient Outlook, if you can!**

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With Him

Nothing... that's what stared back at me when I opened my eyes to the depths of my subconscious. I was confused and a bit dazed, what the hell had happened? I remember making a decision that would quite literally _change_ my life and boarding a ferry to the western continent, intent on glimpsing a grave for the last time and resigning myself to my horrid fate while I absentmindedly stroked his scarf.

The journey over the sea was somberly depressing and filled with the eery premonition of impending rain, I almost missed the shrunken island landmark. Ah, did _that_ bring back memories. Back when my mind and outlook were so _callow_ , so _naive_. It had never once crossed my mind then that my best friend's life was mortal. In my eyes he had always seemed invincible, _invulnerable_. Oh the irony that I felt when he passed, because his near invulnerability is the very _reason_ that he did. Never once had I felt so much despair, all the most terrible and most abominable moments of my life passed before my eyes as he was swallowed up by the shadow of the valley of death. My mom passing, my father acting cold and distant towards me for most of my adolescence, Natsu getting brutally beaten by Gajeel.

It didn't stop there, I saw Natsu getting brutalized in Edolas and getting pounded by an enraged Laxus. I glimpsed his fight with Hades, how he had been so weak by the end of it that he could barely move, leaning on me for support. I saw myself sacrificing Aquarius's key, a particularly evil memory. Viewing his fight with a sneering future Rogue, I sensed for the first time the true pain he felt when he had watched my older version get killed, struck down right before his eyes. I had always thought that that had been traumatizing enough for _me;_ since when was it normal to _watch_ yourself die? But, when I felt what _he_ had felt, what _he_ had gone through, it had brought tears to my eyes. I saw him crying himself to sleep many a night, sensed the more mature aura that had followed him ever since, discovered the increase in willpower he had gone through whenever I was fighting alongside him.

As these myriad memories passed throughout my mind, twisting and turning, bubbling and boiling, I had been at the same time shouting out his name to the high heavens almost desperately, cursing them and willing them to return him to me. But alas, it had been to no avail. A contiguously mourning Erza had to nearly _drag_ me away from the scene of his demise; the spot that haunts me in my sleep, the vista that had created an irreparable hole in my heart. My redheaded companion and longtime friend was crying herself, along with the survivors of the war, all having witnessed their savior sacrifice himself for their sakes, their future; it was like Natsu was a messiah of some sort, destined from birth to die. I cursed my ailing heart and my life for falling in love with such a person, one who was so cruelly thrust from this world and sent to that endless void we call death, one who would _never_ spend another second with me in this plane we call home.

The ride back to Fiore and Ishgar had been painful to say the least, one that was the antithesis of Fairy Tail. Not a single soul uttered a word on the ride back, not a sound was made; it was almost as if they were all holding their collective breath. They were all deadly quiet except for me, for I had been still crying, wetting the shoulders of Levy as I did while she soothed me, my head buried in the scarf that Natsu had parted to me; his last action on this world. I teared harder still when I realized that even in the face of death he had still been thinking about me. What did I ever do to deserve him I had thought with a shaky attempt at a laugh that had immediately transformed into a wail.

As these sad and disconsolate items of my past passed me by, I began to notice a little light off in the corner of my head, illuminating the darkness as if it was a flashlight at night, beckoning me ever so closer with its brilliance and heavenly sheen. Cautiously I wandered nearer, too focused on my target to grasp the tiny detail that the darkness all around me was slowly but surely being elucidated and emblazoned by a golden light; everywhere it touched sparked new connections, each of those forming their own and so on, exponentially brightening my blackened heart.

Still I ventured further to the nexus of the light, closer... closer... clos- I gasped; there in all his boyish glory, was Natsu. He simply grinned... and held up his fingers to my mouth, shushing it. "Come on," he coaxed, "...the adventure's not over yet."

He grabbed my hand and took off running in the opposite direction as I finally noticed the changes that had happened around me, tears welling up in my eyes when I noticed golden magnolia trees blooming all around us. He had done it again, my lover had lit up my mind, body, and soul simply by uttering a few words, his very voice acted like an antidote to my depression, his very presence a key to my heart. On and on he dragged me until I was almost out of breath, when finally we came upon a golden arch, so bright beyond that I could not make out anything. Laconically, he pushed open a gate, and I felt my eyes fluttering open, as the now clear and blue sky met my unwavering gaze, engaging me in a staring contest of happiness.

With a groan I got up and wondered what happened. Turning my head right I saw the vial that I had thought would be the secret to my release smashed on the floor, its contents already having pervaded the ground underneath. I had fainted for some reason, but what? My thought was answered when I turned my head the other way, I at first saw the dreaded and maleficent grave that had been the bane of my consciousness for the past year, which caused panic to well up inside me.

Quickly I sat up, but I then saw a flash of pink, and I slowly turned my head to see a person sitting there nonchalantly, his back upright against the grave that his soul was _supposed_ to have been resting within while his legs were splayed out straight in front of him.

With an almost nervous wave of his hand he smiled, "Hey, wakey wakey wierdo, I was seriously beginning to worr-"

His statement was cut off by my body slamming into his, with such force that the grave almost gave way. My tears soaked his skin, wetting it and causing the droplets of salty water to wander down his collarbone, and hitch onto the scarf I was wearing. "WHOA! Lucy, what's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost or something. And, now that I think about it, where is everyone?." he asked while twisting his head around, as if expecting our fellow former guild members to come out in a cacophony of surprise.

I didn't answer him yet, partly because I barely heard his question and partly because I was still bawling into his chest, shaking with emotion. Realizing he wouldn't be able to get a thing out of me at the moment, Natsu simply sighed and relaxed his back into the grave, letting me rest on his whole body as he wrapped his arms around me. So much was running through my mind; I don't know how long I stayed like that, weeping into his chest, but it was long enough to make him fall asleep.

When I was finally done, I drew up, still sniffling and huffing and found his sleeping face in front of me. I had certainly not forgotten how he had looked, but seeing him in front of me once again made me cognizant of his being again, and served to emphasize just how much I had missed him. He had light puffs echoing from his mouth as he slept and I almost wanted to let him stay like that, but it was almost nightfall, and I didn't think it was such good idea to stay out here during the dark. I knew that I should have been more curious as to just _how_ this was possible, but right now nothing held my attention more than the boy, no... the man, in front of me.

"Natsu," I said, trying not to cry with joy as his face morphed into one of irritation when I poked it, "Natsu wake up, we have to find a place to sleep." It took a little coaxing, but his eyes finally fluttered open as his face formed into a pout.

"Ah come on, I was having the _best_ dream ever."

"What was it about?" I asked as I helped him up.

"A wedding." he simply answered with a straight face, causing my face to heat up even though he had not said _who's_ wedding. As he got to his feet, I started to pull him along, but then I collapsed onto the ground, finding my body way too fatigued to go on. It was then that I noticed, while laying on the ground and facing up, that the pale light of the early moon had been shining on us once again, just like that time in Crocus oh so long ago.

And, just like that other time in Crocus, Natsu grunted slightly as he gathered me up and put me on his back, piggyback style; it was funny, because there was another similarity between then and now, his back was just as warm as it had been that day he had carried my drunken form to the bathroom. I _almost_ fell asleep, but instead chose to stay awake to talk, "Hey.. where are we going exactly?"

"Remember that town we stayed in once, Java?" I nodded my head against his neck while his hair tickled my face; bliss, "Well, I figured that it would be a good place to spend the night, since it's probably not a good idea to cross the sea right now. I think I remember a little motel off to the side in that town, we can stay there." His voice then turned dark for a second, "In the morning we can talk about why on Earthland you were about to swallow death tonic."

I felt guilty when he said that, because he had made me promise to live before he left; it was his dying wish. Too tired to reply, I finally yawned and snuggled into his neck, noticing him tense up a bit when my breath fanned his neck and feeling his heartbeat speed up rapidly; with a smile I dozed off.

When I woke with a start I saw that I was still riding Natsu's back and that we were in an elevator; it was currently on the fifth floor, heading up to the seventh. DING- it opened and Natsu strolled out, still gripping my thighs, but he was gentle while doing so, as if he was sculpting butter. He ambled us down the corridor that led to our apparent room. When he stood right in front of it, Natsu put the key into place and clicked it, pushing the door in as we went inside the room.

It was small, a medium-size lacrimal adorned a desk that was in the front of the room, and it had a small sink and bathroom off to the side. In front of the curtained window, stood a single twin bed, not that I was complaining of course; I had been apart from him for a year, a lack of bed wasn't going to separate us now.

I was still half-asleep, and, as Natsu gently tried to lay me down on the bed, I whined slightly, almost like a little girl, not wanting to get off of his body just yet. I knew it was out of character for me, but I was honestly _way_ too tired with the day's events. Natsu sighed in defeat and slipped onto the bed himself, shifting me so that I was now hugging his front instead of his back. He sat up for a moment on the bed, leaning against the headboard; it allowed me to wrap my arms around his neck as I nuzzled it with my face, purring contentedly. While I did that, I simultaneously snaked my legs around his torso, trying to get as much of him as I could with my body; it was addicting. He shifted his body downwards, while he using his hands to pull the covers over us, we were both soaking from the rain after all. Our clothes hung like wet towels off of our bodies, but I didn't mind; he was warm. Natsu placed his head on the pillow and I in turn placed _my_ head on _my_ pillow, aka his neck. The quilt of our bed wrapped around us like a wrap, squeezing us together even closer than we already were. Though the room was dark, I could still make out his pupils looking at me, breathing me in.

Out of the periphery of my slightly-opened eyes, I saw him wearily smile as he opened his mouth, "Go to sleep Lucy... _by the way_.. my scarf looks _really_ good on you, it's almost weird." I smirked at that last remark while drifting off to infinity.

Sunlight filtered through the near opaque curtains, shining through the window as it lit up the room like a cannon. It bathed me in its light as the rays worked their magic and slitted though my eyes, forcing them groggily open. I was sprawled out next to Natsu, smiling as I saw that his hands were around my waist. I had slipped off of his chest sometime during the night, and had instead used an actual pillow to lay my head on.

His face was cute when he slept, it reminded me of that time I had glimpsed him sleeping after we had all come back from Edolas; he had ruined the moment by sleep-punching me but no harm done.

I trailed my fingers over his face, pulling, poking, and stretching, desperately making sure that this was _real_ , that this was _not_ a figment of my imagination. My various ministrations to his face woke him temporarily however, as Natsu groaned and coughed a little bit, his eyes opening then closing repeatedly. With a start I realized something warm and watery on my arm. How could I have been so stupid? His wounds were still fresh, in my delirious state the last night, I forgot that he was still injured from the battle a year ago. I didn't know _how_ it was possible, but I felt very bad about it since he carried me for god knows how long, even while in this state!

Now that adrenaline had kicked in, I was fully awake and up, getting off the bed and heading for the sink. Natsu whined in his dazed state at the loss of my body, but getting him some help was far more important in my mind. I headed for the bathroom and opened the cupboard in there, searching for some bandages and some healing tonics.

I found the bandages, but could not find anything for healing; instead I found some antiseptic and took it instead. I knew it would burn Natsu's skin, but what choice did I have? Rushing back over to the bed, I ripped what little of his shirt remained and started to apply the solution. To my surprise it didn't seem to faze him at all, he actually smiled and reached out his hand, for what I didn't know. On a whim I grabbed his hand while applying the rest of the potion to his various cuts and bruises, anything I could get my hands on.

When I was finally done I carefully applied the bandages and then filed through my pack for a shirt. I found a green one that I had brought just in case it had rained, and luckily enough it fit him. Natsu had _still_ not woken up after that ordeal, so I decided to make breakfast, which turned out to be cereal.

"MMMMMaaaah" I heard Natsu groan awake. Peering at him, I saw him stretching his arms and legs as if his life depended on it, his limbs hanging slightly off the bed. Natsu relaxed and opened his eyes, searching for mine; when he found them he gave me a cheerful grin and a wave, "Good morning Lucy! I was wondering where you went!" He was about to say something else when he winced a little and looked down at his body and noticed the bandages wrapping him from almost head to toe. "Di-did you do this? he asked while turning around to look out the window. What I didn't know was that he was blushing.

"Yeah... yeah I did, you were bleeding all over, including on me." I said while showing him the red stains on my clothes. I had been wearing the same outfit that I wore that day we babysat Asuka. It held a lot of memories for me, hence why I wore it. Natsu looked a little guilty about it so I reassured him, "It's quite alright, I wasn't just going to stand there and let you _bleed_ to death."

"I would have healed." Natsu replied, slightly abashed.

"Are you blushing?" I cooed; it was quite cute.

"NO!" he exclaimed, while a little red still blotted his cheeks, as he did so he turned to look at me closer and a puzzled look crossed his face, "Hey is it just me, or have you grown taller? And, you look _just_ a little bit older." Uh oh. He had turned the conversation in the direction that I dreaded. I knew I had to face this issue head on, but I _didn't_ know whether I was ready yet or not.

I beckoned for him to sit on the bed and proceeded to sit beside him. Taking a deep breath, I started with something simple, "Natsu, what's the last thing you remember before watching me faint?"

He thought for a second, "I guess... it was seeing a big, black orb hurtling towards me. Next thing I know I see you kneeling over, crying, about to _kill_ yourself. And also, where is everyone? Last I checked, we had just finished the war with Arbaless."

I patted his head absentmindedly as his eyes closed at my touch, and I willed him to settle is head down on my lap, his face shone in confusion but I wasn't budging. Stroking his locks I started, "Natsu... I know this will be hard for you to understand, but... it's been a _year_ since that battle took place." He looked like he wanted to say something but I shushed him, "That big, black orb you saw? It was Zeref's magic, if you don't remember. You sacrificed yourself for our sake, for _me_." I choked out while my tears started to fall onto his sullen face. "I don't know how it was possible for you to come back now, but I don't think I could have stood it for a minute more, not _being_ with you, not _touching_ you, not getting to _see_ you. You and I have already been apart for a year before," at this he grimaced, "and I knew that I wouldn't be able to stand it again."

"Bu-but, why did you have that death tonic? It's not right to kill yourself, especially when I told you to keep living before I left." Natsu argued, his face serious now as he grabbed my hand.

"What's the point of living if I can't be with you Natsu? I _know_ it sounds selfish, but trust me on this, I really could _not_ have gone on any longer like that."

He sat up next to me and started to stare my right in the eye, intently, not holding anything back from his piercing gaze, "Lucy, no matter _what_ you say, the thought of watching you die right before my eyes _again_ is _not_ an option, and it will _never_ be. Where were the others when you were obviously suffering?"

This must be his serious personality, because the look on his face was unwavering, illuminated by the rising sun now, half of it was in the light, while the other was in shadow, its pupil red; it must have been a side effect of him being a demon, not that I cared either way. "Natsu," I started, wording and rewording it in my head as I thought of the best way to put this, "the guild... was disbanded, permanently this time I might add." by this time I was crying _again_ , "everyone.. is either _dead_ or long gone; they deserted Magnolia like it was the birthplace of the plague itself. I guess no one wants to relive their past anymore, not after what happened, no matter how much they want to reminisce."

Natsu didn't say anything, he simply stared right in front of him while I choked on my own tears; maybe it was my half-eaten bowl of cereal or maybe my ripped bag. Whatever the case, he gently took my fingers to his mouth and whistled a melodic tune, calming my nerves instantly. It was rapid yet slow, raucous yet placid, dark yet bright; in short, a complete paradox, but that was exactly what he was, and I loved it. I looked at him with shining eyes, "Where did you learn that?"

"Dunno, it just _came_ to me." he shrugged apologetically while resting his head sideways on my shoulder; "dunno" indeed, that tune was downright _beautiful,_ I didn't think anything that harmonious could ever come out of any less than an angel's mouth, but here it was, coming out of my beloved's. Ironic that he was a demon, but he very well _was_ my angel.

"You're awfully affectionate today." I snuffled with a small smile.

"Is it wrong for me to want to cuddle with the love of my life?" he asked with a pout I couldn't resist from melting my heart while me face reddened.

"Don't make that face, it's dangerous" I whined while pinching his cheek.

"OW! LUUUUCY!" he grumbled while rubbing his cheek furiously, "that _hurt._ "

I was laughing too hard to hear his plea however; I hadn't laughed like this for _so_ long, and it was to my disadvantage as I didn't notice the devious look in his eyes as a bulb lit up in his head, "TICKLE ATTACK!" Natsu lurched sideways and on top of me, pushing me down on to the bed as he started to rapidly tickle my sides.

"NA-NAAAATSU, STOOOOPPP ITTT, STOO-HAHAHAAAAAAAA, KYAAAAAA!" I couldn't control it, it was like I was making up for my lack of smiling that past year, with major interest. When it finally stopped, I was still wheezing and giggling randomly, out of breath from the tantalizing ordeal. It was then that I realized our compromising position. Natsu was hunched over my body, straddling me while his breath was fanning my face as he layed down on top of me, just as tired as I was. "Ha, ha, Natsu, as much as I like this position, you're a bit heavy." that remark caused him to blush fifty shades of red as he leaned to my side and proceeded to simply lay next to me, arms still around my waist.

I turned around to stare at him and found a question written on his face, "Hey, Lucy... you said that everyone left Magnolia right?" I nodded ever so slightly, tickling his face with my hair, "Well, where did you go?

"I went to Hargeon of course, started work as a journalist there."

"Hargeon! Why?"

"It was the place where we first met." I said simply, causing him to turn away in embarassment.

"What about Happy, where is that little guy?" Natsu asked, turning back to me, a sad smile on his face.

"Living with me of course." I answered, causing his face to brighten again.

"Lucy... let's get our asses to Hargeon."

* * *

Me and Natsu spent that day in the motel, simply enjoying each other's company. We took a ferry back to Fiore that night and boarded the night train back to my place at Hargeon. Natsu's motion sickness plagued him the whole way, even death could not cure him of that curse. I was more than happy to have his body draped all over mine as he hugged me in agony the entire way; it had certainly been a while since I had felt this way. When we came upon my front doorstep, we encountered a sleeping Happy, one who was overjoyed with elation and joy as he wept in Natsu's arms. All three of us snuggled up in my bed that night, mushed together like jello we were so close; it was just like old times, except _this_ time I didn't kick them out in the morning.

When I woke up, I noticed Natsu was not there, hugging me; I immediately felt colder. I saw him standing outside on my balcony and I went out there with him, interested in seeing what had gotten him up so early. When I got there, he simply smiled and said, "Lucy, look out there," he was pointing to the sky and the land beyond that, out onto the ocean, "what do you see?"

"I see clouds.. and the ocean. Natsu are you pranking me again!?"

"No no no, just think about it, we don't know what's out there do we? We've never known."

"What's you're point?"

"I'm _saying_ that the incident with the western continent opened my eyes to the possibilities of this world. All we have _ever_ known our _whole_ lives, is Fiore. What if we could adventure out there, see the what else this world has to offer?"

I paused at his words, was he really asking what I thought he was? "Natsu.. why are you telling me this?" I asked hesitantly, afraid of the answer.

"You, me, and Happy; I want to us travel wide and far, just like before, doing whatever we want to yet living our life to the fullest! If the guild and everyone else really is gone, I don't want to stay here. There's too many memories in this country, wherever we go we would never be able to escape them."

I gaped at his words, he wanted us to go off into the unknown? Twisting and turning all over the world, never stopping but always _together_. It sounded awfully tiring, but then again that was how it had always been with Natsu. It had always been the three of us off adventuring; why turn down the offer to do it forever? Wordlessly I nodded my head, tears glistening in my eyes. In response his face lit up; that smile that could light up the world, and my heart.

He hugged me while telling me that we should probably wait for a little bit before setting out and then his face went rather coy and I could have sworn I saw him smirk, "You know... as delicious as that scarf looks wrapped around you, I do want it back."

I stayed silent in his embrace for a few moments before I answered.

"CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!" was my reply as I took off, weaving through the exit of my apartment and going outside. Natsu stood chalk still, in shock.

"..."

"LUUUUCY!"

So I started the adventure a _little_ early, but I didn't really care about that. As long as it was with him.

 _True love doesn't happen right away; it's an ever growing process. It develops after you've gone through many ups and downs, when you've suffered together, laughed together, cried together.-_

Ricardo Montalban


End file.
